i enjoy life, fairly sober

is it a sign that i am getting old when i have absolutely no interest in attending parties or partying, for that matter?
i used to be that person once, i know. whatever bash was going on, u would find me there. hell, i even threw some fairly big ones myself. 
or maybe it's just certain kinds of parties..where the goal is to be surrounded by people & get inebriated. i had enough of that in my teens & early 20's. where & when exactly did i stop enjoying that life? 
i suppose it was when i learned i could enjoy certain people sober. & these were the people i wanted to be around, mostly. humans can connect & form deep bonds during conversations we will remember the next day & perhaps the rest of our lives. i decided i didn't want to spoil the moments i could cherish with double vision. 
as cheesy as it sounds, i feel a sense of exhilaration akin to drunkenness when being around people i love...who challenge me to use my brain & the cells in it that i have remaining. now, this doesn't mean i have or will swear off a drink from time to time. but moderation, i think, is best for me...a wine tasting, a couple beers or cocktails with a close group of friends is more my speed. 
let's talk about the intangibles of the world, cultures different from ours, Descartes, poetry, classic literature, music that moves us & we don't even have to worry about getting our cars the next day!

last act

it's finalmente
the last one is leaving

or left 
years ago

effort exhausted
when none was spent

& these little girl dreams
lie in waste
i stare at them
scattered around my feet
in disbelief
at this stunning exit

careful, as i pick them up
fingers tremble
a quiet stillness before 

my body becomes engulfed
      in flames of rage
i wail, scream, choke, scratch, rip, & tear
pound this earth with my fists

music, alcohol, women, & work
always ahead of this liability

and now this...

farewell,
you fucking coward